I know you and Tonee EknitPhong are really close. So, can you let him know what I am about to say?
Truth be told you are the one person I care a lot about. I
don’t know if you know that. Sometimes I get confused. Then you say these
things and some of them hurt me. I wish I knew why. Ever since we started to
get to know each other, I wanted to know more. Sometimes I don’t feel
important. I romanticize things. Then I realize how wrong it is for me to do
so. I am the type to give my hopes up rather fast. Like I feel like I am doing
it now. Like when I go to talk to you, I feel selfish talking to you sometimes.
I feel selfish of the idea of you doing nice things for me. I shake it off. The
whole princess thing really put me into perspective. I am the type of girl that
likes it when people she is seeing do nice things for her. I don’t see how
gender equality has to do with any of it. I see it as being nice. I say how I
like these other guys to really try to get rid of these other feelings that I
have. When it seems like I am joking about certain things, it’s really me being
flirtatious. I try to accept the reality. It reminds me of a Paradise Fears
song from their first EP. Some of the things you say remind me of this stanza.
How typically,
She says to me,
You're not the right type for me
We'll never be together, you and me
She says to me,
You're not the right type for me
We'll never be together, you and me
That was how the whole princess thing felt. I really don’t
know what else to say. I know this may sound weird to you. That you may have
never had a female feel like this towards you in a while, sometimes I have to
be careful around. I feel like I get hurt over and over again. It’s not you
doing it. I am the one doing. I romanticize the idea. Sometimes I feel like a
play upon you. I don’t mean to. I like
hearing you speak for the most part. Then those certain things just hurt. I
feel stupid when they do. Then I just shrug them off. The last thing I was not
able to. The whole princess thing, it’s like my whole life I wanted to be
thought of as someone princess. Then other times I don’t think I ever could be,
because I am not that type of girl. I really see myself as being her. This is
the only way I can get it out. It’s also the reason why I am Lina Love. It is
soft, and flower like. I also feel really special when Richardson calls me Lady
Lina. It’s like “yes he gets it.”
Yours Truly,
Lina Love
AKA Lina Peterson Kuypers
