Love and things.

     Dear Mr. Tales,

       I have been missing our talks. There has been a lot on my mind. Lately I have been thinking about Mike Rugg. He was a lost love and I miss him. We talk at least everyday. His music plays quietly when I am busy typing away. I can't help thinking about him, and I think I do love him. You are a romantic like me. Now I just don't know what to do. He doesn't feel the same way. We had a falling out and that was what ended what we had. I was mad at him for a while, but then when he said he was sorry in August I felt a lot better. I feel like I shouldn't say anything to him. Saying your feelings out loud only seems to make things worse it seems like. Should I risk getting hurt?





          Yours Truly,

                       Miss Love

I have a confession- Miss Love

Dear, Tales

I know you and Tonee EknitPhong are really close. So, can you let him know what I am about to say?

Truth be told you are the one person I care a lot about. I don’t know if you know that. Sometimes I get confused. Then you say these things and some of them hurt me. I wish I knew why. Ever since we started to get to know each other, I wanted to know more. Sometimes I don’t feel important. I romanticize things. Then I realize how wrong it is for me to do so. I am the type to give my hopes up rather fast. Like I feel like I am doing it now. Like when I go to talk to you, I feel selfish talking to you sometimes. I feel selfish of the idea of you doing nice things for me. I shake it off. The whole princess thing really put me into perspective. I am the type of girl that likes it when people she is seeing do nice things for her. I don’t see how gender equality has to do with any of it. I see it as being nice. I say how I like these other guys to really try to get rid of these other feelings that I have. When it seems like I am joking about certain things, it’s really me being flirtatious. I try to accept the reality. It reminds me of a Paradise Fears song from their first EP. Some of the things you say remind me of this stanza.

How typically,
She says to me,
You're not the right type for me
We'll never be together, you and me

That was how the whole princess thing felt. I really don’t know what else to say. I know this may sound weird to you. That you may have never had a female feel like this towards you in a while, sometimes I have to be careful around. I feel like I get hurt over and over again. It’s not you doing it. I am the one doing. I romanticize the idea. Sometimes I feel like a play upon you. I don’t mean to.  I like hearing you speak for the most part. Then those certain things just hurt. I feel stupid when they do. Then I just shrug them off. The last thing I was not able to. The whole princess thing, it’s like my whole life I wanted to be thought of as someone princess. Then other times I don’t think I ever could be, because I am not that type of girl. I really see myself as being her. This is the only way I can get it out. It’s also the reason why I am Lina Love. It is soft, and flower like. I also feel really special when Richardson calls me Lady Lina. It’s like “yes he gets it.”

Yours Truly,

Lina Love 

AKA Lina Peterson Kuypers

Mr. Tales- The art of duel wielding

Dear Friend,

            It’s great to hear from you!  I’m happy to see the optimism you are approaching the new semester with.  I wish you the best on all fronts, in growth, in math, but especially in happiness. 

             As for me, I’m afraid this is the least excited I’ve been about any given school semester.  I am unsure of the causation for my lack of enthusiasm that is normally associated with clean slates and new beginnings.  I am undergoing a period of low energy level.  Oh well, I guess it will save me future adjustments and what not. 

            I’m glad to hear that I still grace your mind, even if only momentary.  It warms my heart to know that I can occupy even a fragment of another person’s thoughts.  Yes, as much of a surprise as it is a blessing.  For the perception of myself to manifest, to have sustained a home in a neighboring land, one I’m sure is both delicate and rich in beauty. 

            Thought is the basis of my existence, in my deep isolated life it is all I have sometimes.  It is strange; that any man would deter himself from that in which drives him.  I guess one option is to fake enlightenment, to convince myself of validity that is obviously absent.  At times I feel psychology is no different than philosophy, in that they are both vessels for us to harness understanding that we wish to be true.  How can we trust those outside the confinement of our own psyche?  I know for me that it is probably an impossibility.

            Lately I have been writing only for hobby without pressure of profession, a novella for and including my friends, involving the undead.  It has lent itself as a reminder of why I love writing in the first place, and an immediate audience has proved pleasant as well.  I am thinking about taking the semester off from any serious writing in favor of academics.  It is very unlike me to put the mundane and the seemingly meaningless in front of my dreams; it has me feeling not quite myself.  Regardless I am attempting to give it a legitimate shot. 

            I must know how you tackle the task of balancing both study and writing.

Sincerely,

Tales

Rawr

Dear Sir,

    Sorry I have not written back. I often think about you. How have you been? Classes have started, and they seem alright. I sit here with my computer. School is going to be a good semester. I cannot wait till what this year is to bring.

Love, Lina.

Mr. Tales- Impulse

Dear friend,  

            As I sit here in class after taking a final waiting for others to finish so my generally light footsteps won’t “disturb” them, I’m thinking about impulses, and how I really want to act on one and leave.  It is not for lack of patience either; I just think it’s interesting.

            I sometimes fantasize of a life of impulse, to be a creature of desire without setback from fear.  Not without morals, but an inept conscious that did not need the futures permission to make decisions for today. 

            I imagine he would drop out of school for a while, maybe travel the country by foot or bicycle.  Go back to his roots and become nomadic, but on a search for beauty and peace rather than resources. 

            He wouldn’t censor himself, pouring out his heart like sour milk.  He would date crushes without thinking long term, be submissive to the gravitational force of yearning lips.  He would embrace the sweetness of intimacy, a special petal on the rose of love.

            Then again he might never leave his own head; he has been meticulously crafting a sanctuary over the years that has the capacity for all his needs.  He dusted it daily and if the look got stale he’d rearrange the furniture.   I think he would build too deep in to get out, too many floors descended without an elevator.  But that’s just it; he has no elevator because he lacks desire for one.  But then again, he must build a sturdy fortress because no matter how far you are on the external/internal world spectrum all it takes is a snap of the fingers to cross over.  A snap like a nuclear bomb collapse everything you once knew in less than a second.  A nuclear bomb, that would be my life on impulse.

Sincerely,

Tales

Lina Love- Oh you

Dear Tales,



Reading that made me smile. Tomorrow is my Birthday, and I would really like to see my friend Tonee before he goes home for the weekend, at least that is what he was talking about. He is a pistol sometimes. I think you would enjoy his company. Sometimes I think he is down on himself. He is a good writer, and has a good heart. Tonee tells me I am the cool one, but I think he is pretty chill himself. (That is the knew word for Cool.)

Another good thing happen today. I passed my math final on the first try. It was thirty questions. In high school I was never good at math, and it sort of feels like I am taking high school math over again, but in college. Since I have to pay for it, I am learning it. I really have no idea if that is the thing. Tonee said that he knew I could do it. Well ok he said him and his pokemon knew I could do it. Its things like that, that he says that really make me smile. They are corny, and Silly, but they still cheer me up.

I don't like having to many friends, but the friends I have are great for the most part. I have a thing with having to many friends. If I get to many, bad things happen. I was never meant to be one of those so called out going people with so many friends. People sometimes end up misunderstanding me, and When I only have a few close friends, I make sure those are the people that I should keep in my life.

Sincerely,

Miss Lina Love

Mr. Tales- Friends

Dear Friend,

            I am sorry to hear about your distressful situation.  It displeases me to know that some people are embarrassed of the people they call friends.  I happen to have great friendships, ones that I am so proud of.  You being one of them.

            To say that I am disappointed in you would imply that I have some sort of expectations. Which I can’t say that I don’t, but I can assure you that you have been a reliable, caring, great friend and I am both happy and excited to see where our friendship will take us. 

Sincerely,

Tales